Joke: What Happens When a Loan Officer Dies

OK, I’ll post two jokes just to be fair – showing both sides of the story.

First, the way most of us would see it:

A Loan Officer died.  When he met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he presented himself for admittance to Heaven.

Peter said, “Well, you did a lot of good helping people get homes and you also donated a lot to charity. You even worked with Habitat for Humanity.  But you told too many “little lies” to the underwriters and were very rude and unkind to both your processor and office staff.

Because we aren’t sure where you’re going to fit in best, we’ve decided to give you tours of both Heaven and Hell and let you decide where you feel most comfortable.”

In Heaven, the Loan Officer really liked the streets paved with gold  and the  big mansions, but he found all the harp music to be a bit irksome.

When he toured Hell, he saw that everyone had their choice of playing tennis or golf, chilling by the pool smoking and drinking, or playing cards and dancing in the clubhouse. He said to St. Peter “This is a hard choice! Can I sleep on it?”

When they asked him the next morning, he begged, “Oh please send me to Hell!”

When they opened up the doors of Hell, it had completely changed! It was the stereotypical Hell of torture, fire and brimstone. It was so hot and horrible with people burning and screaming!

Hey this is not what you showed me yesterday!!” the Loan Officer accused, tears and sweat pouring down his face.

St. Peter had a cold and abrupt reply: “I know.  Pity you didn’t ‘lock it in’ yesterday.”

The version most loan officers would prefer to tell goes something like this:

A Loan Officer was at the Pearly Gates trying to get in heaven. St. Peter asked him “What did you do when you were living?”. The Loan Officer answered “I was a mortgage loan officer.” St. Peter told him, “Go right into heaven – you’ve already been through Hell!”

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